The Problem With Worrying

Like a lot of people, I have always been a worrier. Worrying is natural. In moderation, worrying is even healthy. It forces us to prepare for the unknowns of the future and helps keep us safe. However, given my own personal baggage, mine is not a world of moderation. I worried about everything – career, family, health, safety, money, everything. I guess when you grow up feeling like you are never good enough, you tend to worry a lot about trying to be good enough. For me, it got to a point where I rarely enjoyed myself in any situation. What do people think about me? Are my kids going to get hurt? What did she mean when she said that? Is my boss mad at me? Will we have enough money for the future? Am I going to get that done on time? You name it and I obsessively worried about it. In moderation, worrying is healthy. When it dominates your life, it is not.

I consider myself a fairly intelligent person. I am also pretty insecure – another fun token from childhood – so considering myself to be “fairly intelligent” feels a bit blasphemous. That being said, I have spent a small fortune on schooling, getting both a BS and a Masters, so solely on the basis of “book-learnin”, I stand by my claim. It was obvious to me that spending the bulk of my time worrying about some unknown future was not the best use of my time. But understanding that and doing something about it are two totally different things. In my head, I knew that I was being ridiculous and that I was wasting too many moments stressed about the future, but in my heart I just couldn’t stop.

In the summer of 2008, my vibrant, dynamic son Tyler

had a health scare. It wasn’t a “running a 100 degree fever” health scare, it was a “worried we might lose him” health scare and it rocked my world.

Here is a picture of the poor little guy after his second MRI in less than 10 days:

This changed my life.  Prior to this, I had gotten to the point of not even enjoying going to the park as a family because I would be on pins and needles the entire time worrying about him getting hurt. It was pathetic. Now, there I was, praying like crazy for more time with him, more time to enjoy every minute with him. It was during this terrible time that I realized that all my worrying had done nothing for him or me. All it had accomplished was stealing precious moments that could have been spent enjoying the moment. Life goes by so incredibly fast. I decided that I needed to live NOW. Easier said than done, but at least I am on the right path.

I had been wasting my life worrying about everything. I learned that, while worrying is natural, it really doesn’t serve much purpose. Kids are going to be kids. People are going to be people. It is okay to worry, but you can’t live in a world dominated by fear. Short of living in a bubble – which I have seriously considered for my whole family given the various flus, tragedies, viruses, etc. floating around – you have to live your life. Mistakes will be made, elbows will get skinned, bones will be broken. But hasn’t it been said that we learn the most from our mistakes? Life is precious and time is short. Enjoy it!

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